Puppy Training vs Potty Training

Posh-Friend-Polly phoned up in a flap yesterday. She is trying to house-train their black Labrador puppy, Montague. (Ridiculous name for a dog I agree). Anyway, whilst Montague seemed to grasp the concept of holding on until he could feel the fresh air on his face it transpired that there was one thing my friend had overlooked – the cat flap. Yesterday Polly came down to breakfast and was horrified to see Montague, head happily poked out of the cat flap, weeing all over the kitchen floor! Having laughed heartedly at her misfortune, I then had to confess that we’d recently had a similar thing happen with Toddler-Not-So-Tiny-Temper. Working Mum had a rare day off so we’d braved the rush-hour train and headed into town for a bit of shopping and lunch with friends. No sooner had we arrived at the super-trendy-biodynamic-beansprout type restaurant when:

‘MUMMY I NEED A WEE!’ the battle cry went up (shouted at a volume level reserved specially for public places).

We head to the loos and the toddler independent streak kicks in so I am ordered to wait outside the gate (cubicle door) as my assistance is not required. Fine by me. 3 seconds of daydreaming and then:

‘MUMMY IT’S GONE FUNNY!!’.

Gone funny? What’s on Earth is that supposed to mean? I open the door expecting the worst but when I get in all seems perfectly normal. All apart from the anguished expression on Toddler-Not-So-Tiny-Temper’s face. I look and look, struggling to see a problem and then it clicks. Some over paid ‘design guru’ has insisted that what this restaurant really needs to complete the minimalist look are clear plastic loo seats…...AND LIDS! Clear loo lids, as in practically invisible lids, as in comedy loo ‘ha-ha we got another one’ lids. Genius. Happy clientele wowed by the chicness (is that a word?) of the restaurant. Or on the other hand, one fuming Working Mum and a soggy and utterly bewildered toddler.

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